From the Heart of a Black Man

One must be careful what you ask for because you might get it.

I never wanted to be invisible, but I never knew how not to be. Reinforced by my mother, invisibility was a necessary evil for a Black man growing up in America- be seen, but not heard or else you become a target.

2020 brought the perfect storm.  The killing of George Floyd may have been the match, but all of the toxic elements were ready and waiting. We had a pandemic riddled with uncertainty, and a President flaming the fires of that uncertainty. We were in a quarantine that pushed the human capacity to its limits while in isolation. On a daily basis our media was revealing to us the scoreboard of death with one fact clear; the virus was killing Black people at an alarming rate with no solution in sight, except for social distancing. 

As I watched George Floyd, a Black man, handcuffed on the ground, held down by 3 officers in uniform, while one other was kneeling on the very cord of his life; his airway, his ability to breathe; I saw the face of every black man in America in pain on that ground.

Perhaps we were all wondering what death looked like ‘a comin’, but that day and at that time we saw the face of death.  Not just on George Floyd’s face but on his perpetrator’s as well. We had been waiting to see the face of this elusive virus that was stalking us, attacking Blacks at an alarming rate.  Now, locked in our houses, glued to our television sets, the truth was revealed. A virus, is a virus, is a virus. And at this very moment, we may not be able to address the virus we can’t see, but in that instance we decided to address the one that we could see. Systemic racism in this country is a virus that can be seen. And if it can be seen, it can be addressed.

I can only wonder what Nelson Mandela felt when he was incarcerated for those many years. Here I am, a warrior captured, in my own country. How do I muster up the energy to push back on my condition?  It’s amazing to watch an uprising, a civil unrest fighting to be peaceful, while being violently opposed. Like any radical change, first it is denied, then vehemently opposed before finally accepted as truth.

Free at last, free at last, or so we hope.  I have lived through several of these uprisings, as a young person in the projects of New Jersey, where they sicced the dogs on us and sprayed us with water hoses. As a result of our uprising, they gave us welfare reform and placed the Black family under attack, recognizing that if the system removed the Black male, that it could disenfranchise the whole Black community. Anytime we gain ground, the system attempts to beat it back.  Affirmative Action was implemented, but White’s claimed reverse discrimination. Then diversity was sold to the civil rights agenda as a way to advance the platform. 25 years later, everyone else on the platform has advanced, except for the Black male. Now we have equity, where everyone’s voice in the room matters except for the one voice with the knee on their neck. If we are going to address anything systemically we must recognize what the original agenda of the adversary was, and is,- the ongoing oppression of the Black male.

Civil unrest in this time and space may seem to be a young person’s fight, but no building is built from the 15th floor up, it has a foundation. When the dust settles, remember the OG. The real work begins in the rebuilding. The OG, your father/mother, your grandfather/mother, is that foundation. We must honor their sacrifices, because this liberation is for them as well.  Warriors are needed now, to hold the line of advancement. We must stand together without breaking rank. Black men need to reclaim their rightful positions within themselves, their families and their communities. Black men and women no longer need to accept being invisible. We must claim our value and reinforce our perceptions in ourselves as being capable, significant and influential over our conditions.

And, if we need to take it by storm, so be it.

John Washington