Fear - The Motivating Factor

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This past summer as my daughter was gearing up for 6th grade, my wife and I decided to make sure her math skills were sharp. I whipped out a few multiplication flash cards to make sure she was on point and we began revising. I could see her tighten up as I administered the quiz, and she soon showed me why. She struggled with her 6’s, 7’s, and barely knew any of the 12’s. This was a problem, so I decided to take action. I told her that if she got all her times tables down by the end of the week, she would get a $20 cash prize. She got excited, just as I expected, and I sat back with my hands on my head thinking “that was easy.” Problem solved. I silently observed her over the next few days, and on Friday, I gave her the test, as promised. The results may surprise you. She did worse than she had done before.

                                                                       

I was upset, frustrated, and disappointed. Not just in her results, but in my inability to get her to study. Intent on solving the problem, I switched up strategies, and sought to appeal directly to her deepest fears@fear & desires. I made a new deal. I told her “If you don’t know your times tables by next friday, I will absolutely not take you school shopping. No new backpack, no new clothes, you’ll go to school in the exact same threads as last year.” My tone of voice told her I wasn't playing, and my wife looked on like I was crazy. But I was dead serious, and Rylee & my wife got the point. I knew she could learn those times tables in a day if she wanted, she just needed a little push. Again, the results may surprise you. She aced the test. She knew every single times-table in less than 3 seconds.

                                                                       

This experience taught me something valuable about fear@fear, and its powerful inherent ability to motivate. It was not the pleasure of completing her goals that led to her success. It was the fear of pain. In this case, the pain of not getting school clothes was a bigger motivator than anything else. This was a revolutionary find for me, and here's why.

                                                                       

THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND SUCCESS

                                   

The truth is this : People are driven@driven by fear of what they don’t want. In many cases, this fear  is more powerful and compelling than the thoughts of what they do want. Knowing what you want, thinking “positive”, and focusing on your desired results are all important and necessary parts of the puzzle. But there is a bigger game to be played, and once we know the rules we can play at a higher level. What struck me about this motivating fear@motivation was how resourceful Rylee got as soon as the threat became real. Understanding that your own fears@opportunity can play a huge part in driving you to take action is a valuable distinction that can separate you from the rest.

                                                                                                                       

Once you understand this, you can use this motivation strategy to be proactive and force yourself to take the action necessary to get you to where you want to go. If you see any successful person it is because they got themselves to ACT@act, when others wouldn’t. Everyone wants to be happy, financially comfortable, love their job, drive a nice car, e.t.c.

 

So why are there such a small percentage of people actually doing, being and having what they dream? It’s because they used their own personal resources to take massive action, when others did not. On a very micro level, they knew what had to get done, and had enough awareness and honesty to recognize what holds them back. Many times its complacency, excuses, fear of failure, and an overall mediocre mindset, which are all enemies of success.                                                                                                                                                                       

THE FEAR FACTOR TECHNIQUE:

                                                           

You are closer to these dreams than you think, but you must have a strategy to act consistently. Follow this 5 step plan to help you overcome the excuses to take the steps necessary to utilize fear as a motivating factor and ACT.

                                                                       

1. Keep It Real: Identify what needs to change                                                                                                                                                          

        ●  What has been your excuse or rationale for not doing it?

                                                                                                                                                           

        ●  What have you been telling yourself and others as the reason why you can’t do this, or won’t?

                                                           

2. Feel The Pain: Imagine the pain of not taking action.

                                               

        ●  What will it look like if you continue to tell this same story, for the next 60 days?

        The next year? 5 years? How does it feel to have not taken action?

                                           

        ●  If you were watching yourself in a movie, what words would you use to describe your character?

                                                                                                                                                       

3. Feel The Pleasure: Envision the pleasure of your end game results

                                   

        ●  How will you feel after having taken this action?

                               

        ●  What is the best possible scenario?

                               

        ●  How can this action set off a positive domino effect in other areas of your life?

                                                                                                                                           

4. Plan & Commit: Identify the steps needed to make an action plan.

                                           

        ●  What resources can you use to get this done?

                               

        ●  How can you make it easier and faster to accomplish?

                                                                                                                                                       

        ●  Who can you commit this goal to in order to raise the stakes?

                                                                                                                                                       

5. Do It: Stop talking and planning, and just do it.

                                                                       

THE BOTTOM LINE

Take what you know you need to do, and make the pain of NOT doing it very real.

                                                                       

Exaggerate it. Experience it. Give yourself a shot of this reality in advance, then use this powerful motivator to move towards what you DO want. The power is within you, it’s always been there. Don’t let your ’story’ keep you from living the life you want to live. Commit to taking action. That means using your pain to drive you towards real action, while others make excuses and rationalize. Be the person that your future self@identify would be proud of.